Those two words can mean the world to someone when said with deep sincerity.
Yet, we resist it all we can. We jump to our own defense. We justify our selfish actions and spiteful words in our minds and outloud. Anything to feel right and make someone else wrong.
And why? What does that really accomplish? What is so difficult about simply saying, “I’m sorry” when you’ve done or said something hurtful, something that caused another unnecessary pain?
Lately I’ve been making a point of apologizing whenever I’ve been mean or snappy with someone I love. It’s a simple mistake to make, we get grumpy or annoyed, we lash out. Yet there’s no need for it. Then I say, “I’m sorry, that wasn’t cool.” And it softens all the edges and opens space for real dialogue, a sweet hug, a good laugh, or whatever is called for.
I’m hoping that the more I catch myself after the fact and make the effort to apologize, the easier it will be to catch myself before it happens and speak lovingly instead. So much better for everyone.
I had an experience recently of receiving an apology that did nothing short of change my life. It set me free of years of unspoken pain and confusion.
The apology didn’t come of its own volition. After much reflection and deep inner work, I made the bold choice of making my pain and confusion known. It felt that what I was asking for was somehow complicated or perhaps even impossible. In the end, I realized, I only wanted a sincere heartfelt apology. When it came, I was so ready to receive it. And it set us all free.
Who in your life can you set free with a sincere and simple apology today? By the way, I’m sorry but is not an apology. In order for it to be real, you have to be ready to let go of all justifications. And guess what? It’s not just for their benefit, it’s for yours too.
Lots of Love,