34, Divorced, Single, and Childless

That’s me! On July 24th I turn 34, and I am, at this moment, divorced, single, and childless. To some, that might sound incredibly depressing. And if I spent mental energy focusing on those things as defining factors in my life, I might too find it depressing. But I don’t. They are merely circumstances of my current reality.

 

My best friend for the past 20 years is in town visiting, celebrating my birthday with me. We often laugh in amazement over how different our lives are now than what we pictured them to be when we were teenagers.

28 Young Sash
Sasha, age 3, in Alexandria, Egypt (1982)

As a young girl, when I envisioned my future, I was married with two kids before the age of 30, working at a corporate job where I had a lot of power and drove a fancy car. Why would I think that was my path? Well, my parents were married very young and had my brother and me before they were 30. I was very high achieving academically and to me that translated into working in an office and driving a nice car in adulthood.

 

Here are some of the things in my life I never imagined would be a reality for me, though in retrospect, I can see the clues that aligned to get me here:

  • That I would be living and loving my life in Los Angeles: My parents are from Trinidad and I grew up in Egypt. I love sunshine!
  •  That I would be a yoga teacher, dedicated to fitness and wellness: PE was my worst subject in school but I used to secretly workout at home. I was a closet fitness freak.
  • That I would be a Thai yoga massage therapist: One-on-one relationships in which I can make people feel nurtured and cared for were always strengths. Oh, and my best friend is Thai.
  • That I would be an independent business owner: I was always bossy, liked things done my way, and never particularly liked being told what to do. Now I’m the boss, officially.
  • That I would be passionate about meditation: I struggled with anger and anxiety, but wanted so badly for my chaotic interior to match my calm exterior. Now I have yoga and meditation.

If I were too attached to what teenager Sash thought life should look like, I wouldn’t be able to see all the amazing gifts in my life right now, and how well they align with who I am. It is great to have a vision for your life, but when you get too caught up on the specifics, you might miss out on what unfolds that is really good and really unique to your path. We know so little about ourselves in our youth, and nothing of the possibilities life can present. It is vital to stay in touch with your transforming desires and the life that is right for you in this moment.

 

28 Standing Balance

Check in with yourself. Notice all the things in your life that are beautiful and amazing, that you could never have imagined, and celebrate those gifts! When you think about the future, reflect more on how you want to feel and what you want to experience rather than the hard details. Be open to your ever-changing path and embrace the twists and turns. Enjoy life!

 

Take action now:

In the comments below, share with us something in your life you are celebrating, that you could never have predicted would be true for you.

 

Lots of Love,

Sasha

 

P.S. Did you like this post? Receive a weekly dose of inspiration by signing-up for the Wellness Wednesdays newsletter HERE.

Published by Sasha Marie Stone

Happiness Engineer at Automattic, work-from-home wellness expert, life coach, and dog mom.

25 thoughts on “34, Divorced, Single, and Childless

  1. I was once 34, divorced, single and childless, and those things don’t sound depressing to me at all! I was at a great place in my life at that time, and it opened me to the wonderful life that I have now. Celeste 🙂

    Like

  2. happy birthdy sweetie!!!
    always love your stories…always make me reflect…
    thanks soo soo much for sharing!!!
    A BIG SUPPORT goes out to Sasha Stone all the way from Seoul, Korea!

    Like

  3. Love that pic of you in Alexandria…..isn’t that a yoga pose? I am always celebrating the fact that I am surrounded by the most beautiful people in my family who accept me for who I am, including you Sash – you are a blessing to us all. Happy birthday xx

    Like

  4. It’s easy to get bogged down by challenging circumstances; thank you for the reminder to look beyond the temporary and appreciate the wonderful things that truly define who we are.

    Thank you for continuing to inspire me and bless me with your energy, my dear friend. Have a beautiful birthday, celebrating all the wonderFULL-ness that is you!!

    Like

  5. I am celebrating my ongoing practice of accepting uncertainty, even welcoming it as the spiritual opportunity that it is… For a young person who thought she needed to have it all figured out, this would have been unimaginable. What I see now in uncertainty is possibility and freedom. Have a fabulous birthday, Sasha! Thanks for all that you do and all that you are.

    Like

  6. Sorry you could not come to your surprise party in Houston yesterday, but know you were missed…we enjoyed the Rocky-road and hope you liked the singing.
    dad
    OOXX
    ++

    Like

  7. Happy Birthday Beautiful One! I loved the focus of your blog. How not being where we imagined we might be at a particular juncture, can be a gift. I am 51, divorced, breast cancer survivor, absolutely no savings, no retirement, no safety net of any kind, self employed yoga teacher/massage therapist! ( the most sketchy of all possible job securities…) Just came out of ending the love relationship of my life. Here I stand. Almost done with treatment, in a beautiful new living situation, a new studio, new clients, new teaching opportunities, my daughter a senior in high school, my body fit, buffed and healthy, steady grounded in my life and an amazing man who came out of no where and utterly adores me. Never would have imagined any of it even 6 months ago. Certainly would not have been part of my master plan at 20, or 30 or 40…
    So very glad to be where I am right now. You are an inspiration love!

    Like

  8. Hi Sasha! How inspiring! I am 34, divorced for 1 year and childless. The pain gets less every day and I must remind myself that I am young, courageous and beautiful and that the best is yet to come! Look at the glass half full and not half empty. Rejoice in the Lord always and stay healthy and content. Be blesses. Rensia-Zjanri

    Like

    1. Dear Rensia-Zjanri,
      Thanks so much for reading and sharing your experience. Pretty much everything in life is about perspective. I’m certain, if you are open to it, you will be guided and well cared for on your journey. This is just the beginning of many wonderful things! Be grateful for the learning and the journey, even when it’s painful, for without it the good times wouldn’t be so sweet.
      Blessings to you,
      Sasha

      Like

  9. I am just getting around to reading this. The title alone made me smile…BIG 🙂 Your courage and honesty resonates with me so much. Thank you for using your life to teach and inspire me, along with so many people around the world! You have made me reflect on what I thought my life was going to be like in my teens. How thankful I am now, that God had different plans for my life. He continues to surprise me, and so do I…
    Nothing but LOVE,
    Rachel

    Like

    1. God has big big plans for you my love, and it’s all happening in the right time. I’m thrilled to be witness to it! See you soon. xox

      Like

  10. Hey Sasha! Thanks for this friendly reminder of gratitude and being open minded. Lately I had been reflecting on “how did my life get to be this way?” I turned 32 on Memorial Day, and thought I’d be married w/ kids by now. Instead I’m still working through the healing process, from the end of my five year relationship a year and a half ago.

    I was a bit wreck less last year, just hoping to numb myself through the pain and put my dreams on hold and made my focus. Though fun it was also a bit painful. Now I haven’t seriously dated anyone for awhile, but the quiet solitude and returning all energy back to myself in a productive way had strengthened me more than I can imagine. Though it can still feel a bit lonely, I know I’m way stronger than I was a yr ago. Thanks for being so open and reminding us all that we’re on this journey together.

    Like

    1. Charmagne, thank you for this incredible share! You are a powerful Goddess, and your dedication to your own healing is inspiring. Don’t be hard on yourself for the “numbing” phase. All painful experiences involve a certain amount of denial, which, I believe, is part of the healing process. Everything we cycle through is part of our leaning and healing process.

      Bless you sister! So happy to be on this journey with you xoxo

      Like

  11. I typed in ’34, single and divorced’ and came across this blog. Today I found out that my friend got engaged and as much as I’m happy for her, I couldn’t help but feel like a failure. To many, I’m successful, pretty, fun and sociable but after a divorce and the end of a 2 year relationship, I feel alone. I can’t help but compare my situation to others and hope that one day I will get married again and find that special someone. I hope I can find the strength to heal and move forward and accept that life doesn’t work out the way you dreamed all those years ago xx

    Like

    1. Dear Dee,
      I understand how you must be feeling. When something as significant as a marriage comes to an end, when our whole vision for our future must start from scratch, even if it’s all for the best those moments of feeling like a failure are inevitable. I know I battled with that, and felt that way with each subsequent breakup after my marriage as well.
      But Dee, you have no idea when things will turn around for you. The hardest thing is to feel like we are racing against time, but somehow, time works itself out. The important thing is to really get to know yourself and your desires intimately. When you are fully connected with your desires, especially around love and relationships, you will be guided to and attract exactly the relationship you want. I can say that because 5 years after my divorce I am now in the most beautiful and uplifting relationship of my life. I thought by now I’d be well on my way with a family of my own, but it turns out life had other plans for me. The truth is, I couldn’t be happier.
      You have no idea what’s in store for you and how wonderful it will be. If you’d like to speak more about this, please feel free to schedule a Feel Good Goddess consultation with me, and we can chat via Skype (it’s free 🙂 https://sashamariestone.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?calendarID=99694
      Take good care of yourself!
      Love, Sasha

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: