‘Tis the season of break-ups

I made a startling discovery last night. Ever since separating from my husband 5 years ago, which happened right around Thanksgiving/Christmastime, I have gone through some form of a break-up at this time every year. Whether it’s small, such as calling off dating someone, or saying goodbye after several months of relationship building, or walking away after 5 years of marriage, this is my season of break-ups.

 

This year is no exception. A couple weeks ago I got dumped by a girlfriend of 8 years via text. This past Thanksgiving weekend I ended a budding romantic relationship. The friend break-up was ugly and harsh, but the romantic break-up was gentle and loving. When a relationship is coming to a close or taking on a new form, no matter how long or how brief, if those involved treat each other with kindness and respect, there is much to be learned and treasured from the experience.

 

Last night when the inevitable post break-up wave of sadness washed over, I decided a soothing bath was in order. That’s when I saw the pattern of these past few years and realized how this time of year, when everything is coming to that December end point before the New Year begins, when many couples are getting extra cozy and cuddly for the winter, I am becoming alone again.

 

Recently my yoga teacher said end of year is a time when you’ll notice a lot of deaths. This doesn’t surprise me. For the Northern hemisphere it’s winter, trees are dropping their leaves, animals are going into hibernation, and there is stillness. It’s a time of death, of letting go and releasing to make way for what you want to manifest.

 

This got me thinking about the New Year’s resolution frenzy. No doubt when January hits the yoga studios will be packed, as they always are when people commit to getting healthy. We all know though that the surge of inspiration dies fast, and only those that were truly committed in the first place understand the lifelong practice. Perhaps part of the reason for this failure is that the seasonal timing is completely off.

 

Winter is a time for inward reflection. Rather than leaping to what you can add or change about your life, perhaps start with what can you release or let die. It might be something as overt as a relationship, or something subtler such as a hidden belief system that keeps you from getting fit and doing what makes you happy. Until you can establish what’s holding you back, how can you possibly move forward refreshed and renewed? Make the space.

 

I invite you to take some time before the clock strikes 12 this New Year to do some letting go of the old. Break-up with that which does not serve you or is not aligned with you highest intentions. Whether in the very literal sense of cleaning out your closet, or spiritually releasing old ideas or limiting beliefs that keep you from living the life you long to lead, shed the crispy leaves and make way for the blossom of renewal.

 

In the comments below, let me know what you’re letting go of this winter season. If you liked this article, please share it with your friends.

 

Yours in wellness,

Sasha

 

P.S. If you need some guidance in this process, I am starting a new one-on-one program called Soul-Care Sessions. Several clients are already participating in the beta version. If this is something that interests you, feel free to email me (sasha@beopenyoga.com) and let me know.

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Published by Sasha Marie Stone

Happiness Engineer at Automattic, work-from-home wellness expert, life coach, and dog mom.

6 thoughts on “‘Tis the season of break-ups

  1. i have a similar streak around my birthday every year. Fortunately we have beautiful weather here in LA. A simple walk down 6th can bring the positivity back. Winters back east are not fun to spend alone.

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  2. That is a great insight about the end of year and New Year’s resolutions. What I’m letting go of right now: the idealization of having nothing to do, like “When I finally finish everything and have nothing to do, I’ll be happy.” This is always a busy time of year, and the truth is that I like being busy, having a lot on my plate, and following my daily routines… I want to be free to enjoy all that instead of fantasizing about the day I’ll just be DONE.

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    1. This is so true Patty. I think about this a lot too as I always have a lot to do, whether I’m at home or have engagements elsewhere. My mind and my days are always occupied. I have no notion whatsoever of what boredom is. The concept actually makes no sense to me at all. I realize that being stressed about being busy is purely a mindset. If you are present with everything you do, then there is enjoyment to be had in everything, whether it’s work related or purely for pleasure. Thanks for sharing!

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  3. This year has been a fun one with new relationships and old. Listening to a motivational speaker he said “We are not our ego, we are constantly changing”. Even though I have some very romantic relationships, I remember that our ego will change and so will relationships. They are not perfect, and eventually some will let go without notice. I am aware of that, and just accept it in a loving way. I return to thinking gratefulness like having a wonderful home, a walk in the park, or in a shopping mall. Maybe listen to some old music your parents listened to. I find that it takes all the negativity out of my life.

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  4. Hey Sasha,
    So funny that you should write this, as I just had the same sort of epiphany in the last couple of days and am considering writing a blog about it…:)
    My first husband and I announced our engagement on Thanksgiving.
    His father died while we were away in Mexico one year on Thanksgiving.
    Lily ate her first solid food on Thanksgiving.
    Shane moved to be with me ON Thanksgiving 3 years ago.
    Was into my second chemo treatment a year ago.
    Just had my port removed a couple of weeks ago and have a new man in my life this year.
    It is a loaded time of year.
    SO incredibly proud of you and your work, your business, your drive, your light, your writing, your honesty. Hope all is well. Much love, Jodeen

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  5. This has always been a difficult time of year for me, but only in recent years, I have the most amazing memories of Christmas past from my childhood in Trinidad, 45 plus Christmas Day, three sittings, little ones, teenagers and adults. I have decided to put the negative memories to rest and move on

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