I made a startling discovery last night. Ever since separating from my husband 5 years ago, which happened right around Thanksgiving/Christmastime, I have gone through some form of a break-up at this time every year. Whether it’s small, such as calling off dating someone, or saying goodbye after several months of relationship building, or walking away after 5 years of marriage, this is my season of break-ups.
This year is no exception. A couple weeks ago I got dumped by a girlfriend of 8 years via text. This past Thanksgiving weekend I ended a budding romantic relationship. The friend break-up was ugly and harsh, but the romantic break-up was gentle and loving. When a relationship is coming to a close or taking on a new form, no matter how long or how brief, if those involved treat each other with kindness and respect, there is much to be learned and treasured from the experience.
Last night when the inevitable post break-up wave of sadness washed over, I decided a soothing bath was in order. That’s when I saw the pattern of these past few years and realized how this time of year, when everything is coming to that December end point before the New Year begins, when many couples are getting extra cozy and cuddly for the winter, I am becoming alone again.
Recently my yoga teacher said end of year is a time when you’ll notice a lot of deaths. This doesn’t surprise me. For the Northern hemisphere it’s winter, trees are dropping their leaves, animals are going into hibernation, and there is stillness. It’s a time of death, of letting go and releasing to make way for what you want to manifest.
This got me thinking about the New Year’s resolution frenzy. No doubt when January hits the yoga studios will be packed, as they always are when people commit to getting healthy. We all know though that the surge of inspiration dies fast, and only those that were truly committed in the first place understand the lifelong practice. Perhaps part of the reason for this failure is that the seasonal timing is completely off.
Winter is a time for inward reflection. Rather than leaping to what you can add or change about your life, perhaps start with what can you release or let die. It might be something as overt as a relationship, or something subtler such as a hidden belief system that keeps you from getting fit and doing what makes you happy. Until you can establish what’s holding you back, how can you possibly move forward refreshed and renewed? Make the space.
I invite you to take some time before the clock strikes 12 this New Year to do some letting go of the old. Break-up with that which does not serve you or is not aligned with you highest intentions. Whether in the very literal sense of cleaning out your closet, or spiritually releasing old ideas or limiting beliefs that keep you from living the life you long to lead, shed the crispy leaves and make way for the blossom of renewal.
In the comments below, let me know what you’re letting go of this winter season. If you liked this article, please share it with your friends.
Yours in wellness,
P.S. If you need some guidance in this process, I am starting a new one-on-one program called Soul-Care Sessions. Several clients are already participating in the beta version. If this is something that interests you, feel free to email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) and let me know.
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