I believe that having a good relationship with your mother is a choice. Like any other relationship, it means you have to show up, be present, and be willing to give as much as you receive.
This week was my mom’s 60th birthday. At this important milestone in her life, I found myself reflecting on our relationship and all the transformations it’s gone through. Like with most mother-daughter relationships, it has its complexities, challenges, and triumphs. Overall though, there is a deep sense of shared loved and gratitude, which I do my best not to take for granted.
As a child, if you are blessed with the presence of a loving mom or mother figure, you are cared for and you trust in that care. In essence, you take it for granted because that is her role in your life. You welcome it with open arms because you need to be nurtured in that way.
As you get older, you start to test that love and push it away. As your reality and awareness change, you might even reject your mother’s love completely. Once you reach adulthood though, it’s time to view your relationship with your mom in a new way, with fresh eyes and with all you have come to know about what creates a healthy relationship. You are now in a position to care for and love your mom in a way you couldn’t as a child or a teenager, and that is a beautiful thing.
I adore my mother and believe we have a very good relationship. However, it has not always been this way. Our relationship has been tested many times, suffered painful emotional hardships, endured separations by entire continents, yet here we are, loving and supporting each other in any way we can. I believe it’s that way because I made a conscious choice to have a good relationship with my mom, to love and embrace her for exactly who she is, and receive with gratitude all that she brings to my life.
Wherever my fierce sense of independence came from, it caused me to push away my mom’s care for me for some time. Also, there were times I felt abandoned, and times I abandoned her. But now I can view all of those times with so much compassion as we were both going through struggles that tested our strength and our place in the world.
Now I welcome my mom’s selfless care for me with open arms, because it feels oh so amazing to be cared for and loved unconditionally! I also feel much more equipped to support her lovingly when she needs me. The fact that my mom feels confident in reaching out to me for support, love and guidance is a wonderful gift that I give joyfully.
We can choose to be either magnetic or repellent. It’s up to you to determine with whom you want to have thriving relationships, and who you are willing to let go of. Those that are important to you are the ones that you will show up for without judgment and with an open heart. As an adult, that includes your mom! Though she might love you unconditionally, in order to have a joyful relationship, meet her love with gratitude, and support her in any way you can.
If you love and appreciate your mom, take action now and let her know! Let go of past injuries and embrace a transformed relationship. Celebrate, love and support each other.
Happy Birthday Mom. I love you!
[twitter style=”horizontal” source=”@SashaBeOpenYoga” float=”left”] [fblike style=”standard” showfaces=”false” width=”450″ verb=”like” font=”arial”] [fbshare type=”button”]