In our youth, everything is rushed and feels urgent, of immediate and desperate importance. Falling in love at that time of life is the same. It sideswipes you and all of a sudden you are swept up in a dizzy fog, and can’t imagine that you ever felt any other way. You are all-in, regardless of life circumstances or potential obstacles. Love conquers all and reckless abandon is the name of the game.
When we “grow up,” the same sense of urgency in love can exist in the form of ticking biological clocks and societal pressure to “settle down” and find “the one.” This can cause you to either make someone into something they are not, or be hasty in your dismissal if a person doesn’t seem to meet all the criteria of your mental checklist. Being present can actually be even more difficult than in our younger years.
The same tingly sparkly feelings of falling in love are there no matter our age or stage in life, but the willingness to feel them and ride that wave becomes diluted by our baggage, our life circumstances, and our expectations. This is not necessarily a bad thing as being conscious and discerning is important in the process of committing your heart to someone. However falling in love can suddenly feel terrifying as that level of vulnerability threatens to shake our foundation, push our stubborn routines and mentalities off kilter, and force us to confront our fears.
Bjork really says it best in her song “It’s Oh So Quiet.”
The cool thing though, is that love with awareness is so much better. It has the potential to uplift and transform, if we are open to that. It’s not just about attraction and it’s not selfish. Life is so much more layered in our adult years, and if you find a love that touches all those layers, professionally, creatively, spiritually, then you can find not just a richer experience of relationship, but also a richer experience of life.
It is the enchantment of love that opens the road to wider consciousness. When we fall in love, we are suddenly stripped of our defenses, lifted out of our self-centered habits, and propelled into an enlarged view of the world. ~Anodea Judith, Eastern Body Western Mind
Falling in love has the potential to be the ultimate practice in being present, the ultimate meditation. You can be in it, feeling it, and experiencing all the emotions ranging from bliss to terror. Yet you are also observing yourself and your potential new partner, observing your reactions, your dynamic, your chemistry, and your harmony. You are observing your fears and preconceived notions, everything that love and relationship can bring to the surface. You are present and loving with that person, yet also, and ultimately most importantly, you are present and loving with yourself.
Though reckless abandon might no longer be the name of the game, falling in love as a conscious and aware adult can be even more beautiful and blissful. The challenge of being in your skin, remaining intact and present through it all can provide you with an incredible opportunity for growth and generosity of spirit.
Take action today by honoring love in your life. Write a love letter, whether it’s to yourself or to someone else, reflecting on the ways that your relationship uplifts and expands your experience of life. Share a loving reflection in the comments below, and spread the love by sharing this article on twitter and facebook (buttons below).
Happy Valentine’s Day!
P.S. If meditation sounds good to you but you don’t really know what it’s all about, consider taking my meditation tutorials and adding an uplifting personal practice to your life. I couldn’t survive without it! Sign-up HERE.
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