I had a brief and harrowing affair recently that initially appeared to have everything going for it, yet once I dove in it was nothing but struggle and disappointment. As soon as I realized the long hard road ahead, and that the best thing I could do for myself and everyone around me was to move on, I opened my eyes to other options and the perfect partner appeared, just like that, no struggle, just wonderful synchronicity.
Ok, I’m not talking about a man. I’m talking about an online scheduling software program, BUT, it drew so many parallels to life and relationships I couldn’t help but tease you with this metaphor.
I’ve experienced it myself, and I see it happening with so many women around me. That struggle to make it fit, make the relationship work, even when the current reality makes it impossible or entirely unpleasant, is rampant. I believe this happens for two main reasons: 1-fear of being alone, and 2-setting your sights too much on potential and not enough on present reality.
On a quest to understand what makes a relationship good, particularly those of the love partnership variety, I’ve made a point of paying close attention to couples I know that are actually really happy with each other (unfortunately rare). I spend time with them, I talk to them about their relationship, I observe, and I ask questions. A recurring theme is the absence of struggle. This doesn’t mean that life doesn’t serve them a poop-load of challenges, or that everything in their relationship is great all the time. What it does mean is that they don’t struggle with each other.
From the onset, things just flowed. And when tough times arise, they support each other, boost each other, and get through it as gracefully and lovingly as possible. Essentially, they make each others’ lives easier, more harmonious, better.
Is that too much to ask? No! It’s exactly what you should be asking. For this I must return to my metaphor. I sought out an online scheduling software program to integrate with my website. I did this to make my life easier, and my clients’ lives easier. I did this to increase the harmonious flow of my business. After much research, unfortunately I made the wrong choice. When I sat down in front of it, it took way too much time, it was not intuitive, and it ultimately didn’t meet my needs. I realized I could either continue paying for it and do my best to make it work for what I wanted, or I could let it go and seek out a better option for me.
I chose the latter, and wow, within no time, I was up and running with the right program for my website and my needs. It was fast, user-friendly, looked good, stress-free and basically everything I wanted. If I hadn’t had the struggle with the first option, I wouldn’t even have known my needs so intimately, or how much better the second option fit my business model.
In a sense, the struggle was a necessary learning experience to lead me to a better fit. I think the same is true for relationships.
We tend to already live quite complicated and stressful lives. Why make it even more so by being in a partnership that causes emotional distress and pain? Just because you see that someone is an amazing person and has all the potential in the world, doesn’t override the current circumstances that are making your life difficult. Ask yourself, how do I feel in this relationship? Then ask yourself, how would I feel to be free of this relationship? Take note of how your body reacts to these questions.
The right fit is out there for you. You don’t need to force yourself into something that brings you down. The relationships that you choose to bring into your life should be the ones that lift you up, the ones where you feel supported and able to support in return. The flow should be harmonious and joyful, so that when the challenges do arise, they can be met with love and compassion.
Take action now:
1) In the comments below, share how this resonates with you. Are your relationships a struggle, or do they flow with harmony and ease?
2) Share this article with someone you love who could use a little more flow in their lives.
3) Check out my new super easy scheduling software to book your sessions with me, including FREE Feel Good Goddess consultations. You can access it right HERE.
See you in the flow,