Why true self-care is not spontaneous

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Some people, perhaps many people, hold a belief that self-care is frivolous, or only for those that have endless freedom to do as they wish and float about the planet meditating and getting massages. Basically, self-care is a spontaneous act for mystical ladies of leisure and not for people with serious lives.


This couldn’t be further from the truth.


The key to truly nurturing your well-being is creating structure in your life. Without structure, self-care either never factors in (“I don’t have time. Too much work to do.”) or it is continuously used as a method of avoiding the responsibilities of life (“I’ll get to that task after I go for a long walk, take a bath, and chat with my girlfriend. Oh, now I’m too tired. I’ll get to it tomorrow.”)


When you create structure in your life, work time is more focused and productive, and play time is more fulfilling and more likely to happen. Getting things done feels good. Accomplishing goals feels good. Taking care of your body feels good. Having fun feels good. They all nurture your well-being therefore all must be present for the truest experience of self-care.


Here’s how…


1) Put time boundaries around tasks.


Have you heard the saying, tasks expand to the time allotted? This means that if you don’t put a time boundary around a task, it can drag on forever and you are far more likely to procrastinate (in fact, this happened to me with writing this article!).


However, if you say from 1pm-3pm I’m doing my taxes, you will be focused, efficient and productive. Time boundaries also help you avoid perfectionist tendencies to work on something for too long, and feel it nagging at your soul because you’re not crossing it off your to-do list. Done is often better than good.


2) Schedule your pleasure.


It’s not real unless it’s on your calendar. So schedule your self-care (exercise, bodywork, meditation, etc.) and fun (dancing, movies, dinners out) and honor it them the same way you would a business meeting that you have on your calendar.


Then, in the moment of designated fun time, you get to be spontaneous! If you planned to go to a movie but get invited to the art opening of the year, feel free to shift plans if that’s what you desire. Scheduling your pleasure allows you to be spontaneous in that moment and listen to your heart’s desire.


Do you like these ideas? Would you like more guidance on how to structure self-care into your life in a nurturing and sustainable way? Consider joining The Sacred Art of Self-Care group coaching experience to create a meaningful and lasting system of self-care in your life that supports all of your personal and professional goals. Last day to enroll is Wednesday, January 27 and there are only 3 spots remaining! Email me to let me know you’re interested and I’ll get you set-up.


In the comments below share one pleasurable self-care activity you are putting on your calendar this week.


Take care, Sasha



Published by Sasha Marie Stone

Happiness Engineer at Automattic, work-from-home wellness expert, life coach, and dog mom.

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