The other day I was catching up with a good friend, and we found ourselves laughing hysterically about the stress and anxiety she feels daily over her white kitchen cabinets.
That’s right. Her kitchen cabinets.
Why, you may ask, would such an innocuous subject be the source of so much anguish? Doesn’t she have anything more important to worry about??
Yes! She absolutely does. And that’s why we were laughing so hard. The truth is my friend has a very demanding full time job as an executive at a major entertainment studio, she’s also a phenomenal mother, a loving partner, a supporter of her in-laws, a contributor to many worthy causes, a yogi, an incredible sister and daughter, a devoted friend, and so much more! Honestly, I could go on and on.
She stresses about her kitchen cabinets because…she’s a weirdo. And by that I mean one of her magical super powers is that she’s incredibly clean and organized. Because of all the major demands on her time, cleaning now hangs out somewhere at the bottom of the priority list and this STRESSES HER OUT!
The problem is not that the cabinets are horrendously dirty (seriously, they’re not). The problem is also not that there isn’t enough time to get to it. The problem is she’s not fully embracing her desire for cleanliness and insisting that as a family they hire someone to take care of this.
So that she can breathe freely knowing it’s complete and that she can be fully present in whatever she’s doing as a result. Cleanliness makes her feel good. It gives her pleasure, and therefore contributes to her energy level and the wellbeing of everyone around her.
How often have you made yourself feel bad for your uniqueness, or for wanting something that people around you might deem as strange or indulgent?
When you do that you double down on your stress. Stress for not having it plus stress for feeling bad for wanting it in the first place.
It took me a long time to fully embrace, and then celebrate, my unique needs and desires of life, and of course it’s still a work in progress. But honestly, life is so much better when you fully acknowledge your desires and curate your life in a way that fulfills them.
The truth is, as women, desires are directly connected to our intuition and to our path in life. When you ignore them or try to make them unimportant, you’re ignoring key aspects of who you are and who you are meant to be in this lifetime.
For example, I LOVE mornings. I find them to be the most lovely and magical time of my day, but not for work or productivity. For my own personal me-time. The mornings are when I do my spiritual practices, yoga, exercise, grooming, and of course eat breakfast (I actually eat 2 breakfasts, like a hobbit). WEIRDO!
This means I wake up early (around 6:30am), but don’t actually start my work day until 10am. This is bizarre to so many people. If you don’t start work until 10am, why aren’t you sleeping in? Or, If you wake up that early, why aren’t you starting your workday earlier? Or, Must be nice, to have a life where you can luxuriate for 3.5 hours every morning.
Yes it is! And I created it that way on purpose.
I actually have no idea if people think these things. These are my own judgments that I created based on ideas I had about what life “should” look like. That is, until I tuned into what I wanted life to be like, and created my schedule accordingly.
I would never tell you to do the same, because this is my unique desire. I’m in bed at 10pm in order to have these fabulous mornings. Same for my friend. I would never tell her she’s wrong for stressing about her cabinets. This is her unique desire, so instead of telling her to get over it, I encouraged her to embrace it and do what’s necessary to make it happen (in this case, hiring it out which is an awesome solution!).
Living life according to your desires is actually much harder than it might sound. We are highly conditioned to live a certain way and to think a certain way about what’s important and what isn’t. Conforming to these beliefs causes far more stress than you realize.
Sooner or later you find yourself feeling unfulfilled, exhausted, and disconnected from your true self.
I believe it’s essential to your health, wellbeing, and happiness to know your desires intimately and start living accordingly. I believe nurturing your desires is an essential component of what I call Sacred Self-Care.
Sacred: Connected with God (or the gods) or dedicated to a spiritual purpose and so deserving veneration.
Self: A person’s essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action.
Care: The provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something.
Once your desires become a guiding light in your life, your entire experience of life begins to transform.
I love how I structure my days now. I really listened to the rhythm of my body and soul and created a life that is true to me. It didn’t happen overnight. It was a process of getting to know myself better, getting to know what felt good and what didn’t, then taking the appropriate action to bring these desires into reality.
What about you? Do you feel disconnected from your desires or that it’s time to start living your life more in alignment with what makes you happy?
If so, I invite you to consider what it would be like to create a daily life that feels nurturing and in alignment to who you really are, to your true pleasures and desires, to what makes you the most dynamic, productive, and happy version of yourself.
This is what we do in The Sacred Art of Self-Care Immersion Program, an intimate group program designed to help you live a more peaceful, pleasurable, and prosperous life!
This year I’m accepting 8 women into the program (as of right now, 5 spots are open). It’s an 8-week course, beginning on January 14th (lasting a lifetime), and only happens once-a-year.
If this sounds like the kind of experience you want to create in 2017, email me [firstname.lastname@example.org] and let me know you’re curious. From there, we’ll set up a time to chat to see if it’s the best fit for you.
It’s time to celebrate your inner weirdo!
P.S. Learn more about the course and past participants’ journeys of transformation HERE.